Healing

" Well Things are getting better for me in my own healing time with by break-up from my long time partner of 4-years, don't get me wrong its hard and I miss him really bad at times.

But this was the right thing to do for me I feel, I now know it was time to move on even if it hurts as we both wanted different things from the relationship. I now know that I will someday find someone who wants to spend his life with me and try really hard to make things work with me as I will with him, but till then I will learn to heal and make myself a better person so that when (Mr Nice Dating Man) comes along I will be ready to move on with someone else.

I have no clue who he may be but I now know better in what I do and don't want in a partner to share my time with. I have made a cross road today...It has been- 27 days since I last held him in my arms and felt the want of a man, and 22-days since I have last spoke with him, and we broke-up. This is the longest we have stayed apart, I had asked him to let me move on and he has been good about letting me lick my wounds and heal I feel. Not sure if he has moved on or not is why he don't contact me, others tell me he has and more then likely had before we ever did break-up had another women scoped out to date if we broke-up, or has replaced you as he also has moved on like you asked him to is what they said. Which I have to accept because I told him I was setting him free to be with someone that made him happy, as I didn't feel we were doing that to each other anymore.

A lot of pain and hurt trasnspired during this time, Yes I sometimes think we could of worked it out. But I felt I would lose more of myself if I kept giving and I had to stop, because it was hurting to much for me to try and please him. I just felt I never did the right thing to, because he was always upset with me a lot of the time if I expressed how I felt on things that he didn't agree on and we were never able to stop the merry-go-round of the same problems they just kept coming back, and we couldn't come to a understanding on these problems and we both could change them to make the other happy.

So I feel I did the right thing as I don't feel he really wanted to be with me anymore, by the way he was acting over things he felt always needed to be changed within my life to make us as a couple better, and I was just tired wore down from trying to change to keep him so he would be happy and not want to leave me. I came to think very little of myself in order to keep him, this is not a healthy thing to do know that I have been able to look back, I'm a bit sad because I cared very deeply for this man and loved him with my whole heart and wanted to sleep by him the rest of my life. But it was wrong of me to want someone more then they wanted me I'm learning more about myself these last few weeks, I was always someone who tried hard thru-out my 4-years with him to keep him, and guess I will never know if he stayed with me as long as he did because he loved me? Or that he just learned to love me because I wanted him so bad and he was settling for me because I wanted to please him so much. Don't really matter anymore, But I have learned something from my time with him.

You can't make someone be who they are not, and I need to look at things with other men in the next few months or years that I will date to take one day at a time and stand up for who I am and not change me for anyone. No matter how bad I want him, because he needs to love me for me and all my crazy moods. And everything and everyone that comes with my life, because that is who I am...A Loving,giving kind person who should demand that others treat her the same way and not accept any less from anyone ever.....SO Today is my crossroad in to my new life...ONE!! Step at a time, no more bitterness and tears, towards my x-mate..I know I am worth knowing, just need to find the right man who Loves me for me and nothing less....I know he is out there, just waiting for me to walk into his life!!

Charming Men Woman Shouldn't Date

(1) If he has one to many times been married, or is older then (30-plus) and never been married? Why? Multiple previous, or off and on dating with many women who always treated him bad(he says) these are BIG red flags!! Ladies he has some problems or these other women wouldn't keep leaving him. He bravely tells you they all treated him bad one way or another, he was the understanding/walked on mate.. Always. He never takes any blame for the break-ups, but that he just picked bad women to date. I promise, your name will someday be added to his list of women who did him wrong!! NEVER, think you are different from those other women in his past when he has more then one:(she treated me bad relationship)....You're not...Careful he'll suck the life out of you fast too!

(2) If you wonder how he affords the expensive wines, the five-star restaurants and the trips to Europe on the salary that someone in his line of work earns -- the answer is he can't afford it, he's doing it to hook you in. To make you think he is a sweet charming man who finally found the women of his dreams, he's living off the plan of bagging you to help feed him or help him pay off these debts down the road hoping you'll feel sorry for him...Don't!

(3) If he wants to buy a house, or maybe a newer car while your dating him watch-out if he starts talking about you both moving in together or getting married, but he needs his parents or you to co-sign for him. Run for the nearest exit. His credit is bad, from trying to impress women to stay with him he's a user!

(4) Brags that he "Went to" a college and "graduated from " a college to make himself look good. What a shame that he thinks you don't know that and he needs to keep throwing it in your face, tells you what a great find his is for any women, unless you were only dating him because he went to collage. Good-luck, this don't make him a good man by no means!

(5) If he complains about his job and co-workers (don't have a lot of close friends) at least once a week if not more, always feeling he could do better (he'll even tell you he likes his job most of the time.) But he's just looking for the better one to come along someday,(like his women) don't count on having his income in your budget.(Unless he is only trying to impress you then this is only tempory for show), because he will always tell you how poor he is even if he has tons of money. He claims he makes good money till its time to prove it, then he's suddenly broke or has a bill that needs payed. This will never change!

(6) Are you much older than he is? Does he try to control your every move, claims its because he loves you? Pick fights with you over dumb things that aren't worth even fighting over, but he can't let go of them its part of his control to wear you down. (He likes the older ones because he can no longer fool the younger, wiser ladies, truth.) Does he tell you that your special different then those younger women, says you treat him better is why he wants to be with you. He's with you because he thinks you can't get anyone better, and the women his age won't put up with his head-games. ...Don't sell yourself short!!

(7) Have you ever wondered why nothing is his fault? The: his break-ups, his past dating-mishaps,divorces, relationships,x-girlfriends,job's,money-problems,room-mates,un-paid-bills,friendships,bankruptcies? Think again. Someday you'll be on that list, of people who did him wrong too!

(8) Does he tell you that his Parent's advises him to not make any expensive purchases- on credit, at this time that he can't afford (like an Engagement-Ring, or Marriage), on the basis that they're trying to help him get out of debit right now? Don't believe every- thing you hear, he's being polite....He don't want to hurt you and tell you the truth, he's got no balls because they are in his mamma's purse!!

We all know that this man is attractive and charming we've all dated someone with one or more of the statements above, and the truth is he has read and learned everything he could, and still is. On what women want to get them to go out with him, but please take off the blinders. Because he won't be willing to want walk down the wedding-aisle with you its all a game to him because he is trying to hide the self-centered troll he really is, unless you end up with his child or trap him, you may get lucky and win him. (But ask yourself do you really want to end up with someone like him the rest of your life)... Be grateful for these reminders that before making a lifelong commitment, it's imperative to know well with whom one is having the pleasure."